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Is mediation right for a Connecticut divorce?

Marriages dissolve for many reasons, and mediation may seem like the best option to handle the separation. Untangling the finances and designating child custody and spousal support can be a daunting task even when couples are willing to work together to seek the best outcome under the circumstances. While mediation provides a less costly and more civil approach to a Connecticut divorce, the option is not one that is always advisable.

Some relationships, once vibrant and full of possibility, turn dark and both parties suffer within the confinement of the union. When this situation presents itself and one or both parties harbor sheer hatred for one another, mediation may not be the best answer. Mediation requires both parties to be willing to listen and consider the other party's perspective, not only with regard to what happened in the relationship, but also how assets and custody should be designated.

When a marriage turns violent, mediation may also not be a good option for pursuing a divorce, as the aggressor will more likely not be able to understand and empathize with the viewpoint of the abused. In cases of infidelity, the humiliation and hurt the deceived spouse feels could delay the progress of reaching a fair settlement. Harboring feelings of anger and revenge can cause some soon-to-be ex-spouses to sabotage the mediation process and further agitate the delicate situation.

When Connecticut couples have come to the end of their relationship, separation seems like the next logical step. Pursuing a divorce through mediation can be healing for many couples and allow them to move forward with their lives. For some, the mediation process can be a way to stall support payments, inflict further emotional pain and continue to exert control over the other party by manipulating the situation further. In either circumstance, seeking the guidance of a skilled family law attorney can help to ensure the divorce is handled in a speedy and efficient manner.

Source:, "8 Signs You Should Skip Mediation and Head Straight for the Divorce Lawyer", Leigh Anderson, Aug. 11, 2017

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Law Office of Robert A. Skovgaard
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