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Explaining divorce to children key in development, experts say

It is a well-known fact that a marital separation can have profound effects on a family dynamic when children are involved. As many Connecticut residents know, divorce can be a particularly challenging hurdle to get over for children of divorcing parents. Some experts have suggested that the key to helping children through this transition is to break the news with due attention paid to their feelings and well-being.

It is quite common for children, especially younger children, to feel somehow at fault for a divorce when it happens. Some experts believe it is important for parents to assuage those fears and reassure children that the divorce had nothing to do with them, and that each individual parent's love for them is unchanged by the process. Avoiding telling children the harsh details of a marital split can also be beneficial.

It can also be helpful if both parties can agree on how they will approach the subject, and to do so together. When both parents address children about a divorce situation, it can help to show that both parents remain invested in their relationships with their kids. Ultimately, children need to be reassured that while things are going to change, the important part -- mom and dad's love for them -- will not.

Divorce in Connecticut and elsewhere in the nation can be an involved process, and it is not easy to keep children totally clear of it. Sharing pertinent information with children as a united front can help smooth the transition for all involved. It is also beneficial for both parents to have a clear understanding of the child custody and support laws of their state to ensure they are both prepared for their post-divorce responsibilities.

Source:, How to tell your children about the divorce, No author, Feb. 23, 2014

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